• "How is it determined which of our property is marital and which is separate?"
• "How will property be divided in my divorce?"
• "Can I leave the marital home? Can I make my spouse leave the marital home?"

Child Custody issues:

• My ex-spouse exercises visitation with my kids, but I want to move with them to another state. Can I go?

Child Support issues:

• "My ex-wife has recently married a very wealthy man. Can I now stop making child support payments?"
• "What are the Child Support Guidelines?"

Financial issues:

• "How can I keep my legal bills under control?"

Infidelity issues:

• "My spouse has had several affairs; it's one of the reasons we split up. Can I use this against him in the divorce proceedings?"

Legal issues:

• "What are the grounds for divorce in Connecticut?"
• "What can you suggest to your clients to help them through the divorce process?"
• "Is it true that going to court is the only way to ensure you'll get your fair share?"

Spousal Support Issues:

• "I built my business with no support from my spouse. Is he still entitled to a share of it?"
• "Can I make modifications to my Divorce Decree? My circumstances have changed, and I'm going to need more support."

"How is it determined which of our property is marital and which is separate?"

The State of Connecticut does not distinguish between marital and separate property. All property acquired before or during the marriage (and even during the divorce) can be equitably divided regardless of who owns the property.

How will property be divided in my divorce?

If the parties cannot agree on the division of assets, the Court will do so based upon the following factors:

• Length of marriage
• Causes for divorce
• Skills, employability, estate, liabilities and sources of income, vocational skills, employability, estate, liabilities and needs of each of the parties
• The opportunity of each for future acquisition of capital assets and income
• The contribution of each of the partiers in the acquisition, preservation or appreciation in value of their respective estates.

"Can I leave the marital home? Can I make my spouse leave the marital home?"

It is not always advisable to leave the marital home but certainly you are able to do so. Unless there is violence or other such circumstances, Judges are reluctant to remove a party from the marital home. Without the consent of your spouse or Court order you cannot make your spouse leave the marital home.

My ex-spouse exercises visitation with my kids, but I want to move with them to another state. Can I go?

In order to do that you would have to review your marital agreement and/or your divorce judgment. However, generally it is difficult to relocate to another state unless there is an agreement from your ex-spouse or a Court order allowing you to do so. A Court would examine the extent the ex-spouse currently uses his parenting time, the reasons for the move, how far away the proposed move is and ultimately the issue comes down to the best interests of the children.

"My ex-wife has recently married a very wealthy man. Can I now stop making child support payments?"

No. The payments must continue. You can petition the Court for a modification if you can demonstrate some of the household expenses have been reduced by the contributions by the wealthy man but he is not responsible to support your child.

"What are the Child Support Guidelines?"

They are guidelines by which parties and Judges when necessary can determine the proper amount of child support to be paid from one party to another. They were adopted by the Commission for Child Support Guidelines. Parties and Judges can deviate from them for various reasons but generally they are followed. The most recent guidelines became effective on August 1, 2005.

"How can I keep my legal bills under control?"

The more you and your spouse can agree to, the less the divorce will cost. The cost of a divorce rises when there are significant custody issues, if one or both spouses is not providing financial disclosure and if parties engage in conduct that requires a great deal of court intervention (for example, if a spouse ceases paying support during the pendency of the action). Asking your attorney to review documents in the first instance instead of the lawyer is one way to keep legal bills under control. However, matrimonial law is a specialty and you want to let your attorney do his or her job to be in a position to get the best result.

"My spouse has had several affairs; it's one of the reasons we split up. Can I use this against him in the divorce proceedings?"

If the affairs were a primary cause for the breakdown of the marriage it may have an impact on the amount and duration of alimony and on how the property is divided. Some Judges give it no weight though.

"What are the grounds for divorce in Connecticut?"

Most divorces in Connecticut are granted because there has been an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage with no hope of reconciliation. All that is required is that one party testifies as to this. Connecticut is a no-fault state. (For more information, click here.)

"What can you suggest to your clients to help them through the divorce process?"

That they be reasonable in their expectations and if they have children understand that the divorce does not mean the end of the relationship with their spouse. It is often helpful to work through the emotional issues that come up with a therapist and to understand that the lives of both parties will be forever changed by the process.

"Is it true that going to court is the only way to ensure you'll get your fair share?"

Not necessarily. With competent divorce attorneys you can also receive your fair share by agreement. There is also mediation and collaborative law as options to ensure the receipt of your fair share.

"I built my business with no support from my spouse. Is he still entitled to a share of it?"

It depends but generally the business would be an asset subject to division. Relevant questions would be the extent the business existed prior to the marriage, the role of the non-business spouse in maintaining a home, raising children and the extent of other assets.

"Can I make modifications to my Divorce Decree? My circumstances have changed, and I'm going to need more support."

If your former spouse will agree this is quite simple to do. Otherwise, you will have to seek relief from the Court and demonstrate a substantial change in your circumstances from the date of the last Court order. This relief is not always granted.

Stamford Connecticut lawyer Frederic J. Siegel is a partner with Siegel, Reilly & Conlon LLC and has over 27 years experience in the practice of family law and divorce.

Tuesday, May 15
at 8 pm to 8:30 EST
Out With the Tragedy: Turning Divorce into a meaningful experience
with Allison Pescosolido and Andra Brosh, founders of Divorce Detox
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