Note that divorce information given in this section cannot take the place of independent legal or financial divorce advice. Please read our disclaimer.

"Who shouldn't use mediation? Can it work for couples who argue a lot, for instance?"

Everybody should use divorce mediation; it's a question of whether you can or not. Some people (i.e. one spouse in the divorcing couple) use divorce mediation just to gather information to use against the other party later. Or if there's a lack of trust, your spouse may use it to get information to use against you later. So what you may want to do first is to visit a divorce attorney and find out what you need to do, how you need to do it, and whether it would work for your situation after you explain it, and then make a decision.

You have to remember that whenever you see a divorce attorney, it's confidential and private. They can't repeat what you've said to anybody else, so don't worry about that. But you have to tell them the makeup of the type of divorce lawyer. Some attorneys have a sixth sense if they've been practicing for a long time: if you tell them a little bit about the person, they have a good idea of what that person's like. And if divorce mediation will work, that's the first thing they should try.

Julia M. Garwood is a family-law attorney and divorce mediator based in San Diego, CA. She can be reached at (619) 692-8100. View her website and Divorce Magazine profile.