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Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce
  • "I have just separated from my spouse. When should I start dating again?"

    Divorce therapist and telephone counselor Dr. Deborah Hecker answers: " Your question is excellent and one that all divorcees eventually have to contemplate. Dating after divorce is a complex and much-debated topic. After all, the psychological and emotional impacts dating can have on single people are often immense. In spite of the confusion surrounding the issue, here are a few things that you need to consider before getting your feet wet.

    The moment to start dating again after a divorce is not something that you can answer by looking at a calendar and counting the days. There is no right answer to this question. Dating after divorce depends on the individual, not on any set time limits.

    Let's face it, divorce is a fragmenting experience. Before people can start new lives, they need to be able to pick up all of the pieces of their old ones..."

  • "I'm starting to wonder if one of my daughters is my biological child. How can I find out without damaging my relationship with her?"

    Divorce-recovery expert Rick Tivers answers: " You're faced with quite a dilemma. If you find out that Sara is not your biological daughter, you will no doubt feel a variety of emotions that could complicate your relationships with family members. If you don't find out who the real father is, then your relationship with Sara may become contaminated with doubt. This could easily be acted out in negative ways towards Sara, her mother, and even the other children.

    I would recommend that you find out whether or not you're Sara's biological father. Regardless of the paternity results, you'd do well to see a counselor or therapist to process the feelings you and your wife have about this issue. Even though you're going through a divorce, it's imperative that you work through feelings of betrayal, anger, distrust, and other issues and feelings towards your wife, so you can continue to be an effective and loving father..."

  • "How do I begin my divorce? Do I have to fill out some kind of form?"

    Divorce and credit experts John Ventura and Mary Reed answer: " No matter which state your divorce takes place in and what sort of divorce you anticipate -- friendly or hostile -- every divorce starts out the same way: One spouse must file a complaint or petition with the court, which initiates a divorce civil law suit. The spouse who files becomes the plaintiff, or the petitioner, in the lawsuit, and the other spouse becomes the defendant, or respondent.

    If you file the petition, you use it to establish the facts and the issues of the divorce as you see them. You file either a fault or no-fault divorce and also indicate what you want from your divorce -- spousal support, child support, custody of the children, and so on..."

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